it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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