Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
