Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
