So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize