i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
