now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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