Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
