i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
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Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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