i think i have herpe
just one?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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