yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
