I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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