There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
