My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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