I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
