I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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