TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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