but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
