good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
