And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
