we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
