im having a threesome with these popsicles
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize