Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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