This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
