i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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