Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize