i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We talked him into tasing himself.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
