i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
