Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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