i'm lost and i look like a hooker
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
