Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So many bounce houses so little time
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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