My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
