I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
