So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
