i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
