so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
