I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
