bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
