Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
don't judge my taste in strippers
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize