I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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