did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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