i permit you to call me
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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