No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
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