Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
