did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's shark week go big or go home
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
