Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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