If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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