The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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