After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
