i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
