Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
