areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Let's get the cat blown out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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