This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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