I heard we made out
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize