worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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