make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize