Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
NoShamevember. You game?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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