why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
