if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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