white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
