the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
