What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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