life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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