hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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